Relationship Therapy

I follow an integrative therapeutic approach in couples work due to the varied nature of issues couples bring to therapy. The aim being to assist couples to gain insight into their relationship, resolve conflict and improve relationship satisfaction. To achieve this, couples need to be committed to the process, be willing to become more self-aware and emotionally vulnerable to their partner, work towards mutual serenity and be willing to own their contribution to the state of the relationship.

1. Relationship diagnostics

Frequently couples end up in my consulting room not knowing the way forward in their relationship. 1) They often decide to separate or divorce but as soon as we start unpacking their reasons, it becomes evident that this is not what they want. 2) Other couples would report poor relationship satisfaction but cannot identify the reasons for the state of their relationship. 3) More couples would check in to assess whether their relationship is on track to prevent possible future complications. 

With the above in mind, I developed a diagnostic tool to guide couples to gain insight into the reasons for the state of their relationship. Depending on the outcome, the couple would choose the best option to bring about change in their relationship. These options vary according to the couple needs and circumstances. The possibilities are;

  1. They can decide to keep the status quo and continue as before;
  2. The improvement of the relationship through a therapeutic process;
  3. Temporary separation with specific goals to be achieved within an agreed time;
  4. Divorce through mediation.

2. Relationship conflict diagnostics and strategies for improvement

Through the years many couples reported that they are caught up in conflict loops. They would often say that they fight about insignificant stuff or about everything constantly but seems unable to stop doing so. The opposite is also a problem where nothing is ever sorted out and silent treatment prevails. This in turn leads to a build-up of frustration manifesting in outbursts. In therapy the underlying causes of conflict are assessed, and strategies developed, to manage it.

3. Relationship communication diagnostics and strategies for improvement

Communication is the cornerstone of every relationship. This too I have heard many times; we love each other, we are a happy couple, but we cannot communicate. The aim of the therapeutic work is to guide you to understand the causes for the difficulties you experience with couple communication, while at the same time develop strategies and skills for effective communication.

4. Couples journey and relationship workbook

If you are interested to do a deep dive into the inner workings and to make sense of how your relationship works, this is the process for you. The process is a combination of therapy sessions and homework whereby all aspects of your relationship is attended to.

At the end you will have a complete book containing all your relationship information. This functions as an informative relationship guide and a progress measuring instrument.

There are different options for participation:

  1. You work with me in couples’ sessions with the Relationship Guide as our handbook. We proceed at your pace.  
  2. You can get your own group together or join the existing group sessions online as indicated on the calendar. This is less personal, but the group discussions add much value. 
  3. The model also works well for premarital preparation.

Development of Couple Counselling Model

This couple counselling model was developed over many years of working with couples, reading, studying and gaining insight from the needs expressed by these couples. I learnt that couples needed a safe space to talk about their issues and through this process identify the strengths and weaknesses of their unique relationship. Life is demanding and time is valuable, therefore couples wish for a practical toolkit designed to empower them in improving the quality of their relationship. The aim of this approach is to address these

needs in a practical way. It provides couples with an opportunity to develop a new platform from where they can start communicating differently. These conversations are difficult therefore the counsellor/therapist plays an important role in holding the space. It is important to emphasise that the outcome depends on the couples. What this implies is that it depends on the couple whether they utilise the process optimally to get the best results within their specific context. Couples often ask about the “success rate” of couples counselling. The commitment of the parties and their expectations determine this.

5. Group couples journey and relationship workbook

Groups presented online twice a month. See calendar for info. You will need to attend 12 group meetings to complete the full course book. 

Limit 5 couples attending.

Group sessions presented online or face to face.

6. Individual therapy

In individual work I follow a hybrid therapeutic approach to assist clients with the need they bring; being a specific traumatic life event, life stage issues, past experiences influencing current functioning, personal growth, making sense of where they are and finding their own strengths and coping strategies.

Schedule an appointment

Please get in touch with if you want to book an appointment.