SANDRA HITCHCOCK
FAMILY MEDIATOR & THERAPIST
Mediation
As an impartial mediator, I help couples and families through divorce or separation. The process involves assistance with negotiating and resolving issues with regard to children and co-parenting, writing of a parenting plan, division of assets, child and spousal maintenance and other related matters. I facilitate communication and assist couples in reaching mutually acceptable agreements outside of court. Mediation allows for a more amicable and cost-effective alternative to litigation.
The eco-systemic approach to mediation allows me as the mediator to gain an understanding of the needs of the individual family members as well as those of the whole family system. I learn about the specific family moral code, who the family members are, the relationships between them, as well as their connections to social and other systems of importance in their context. Having this information, I have insight into the family dynamics hence better equipped to assist them with the split of the family into two functioning systems.
I use the flexible nature of the mediation process to design a process that fits the unique family system’s needs and circumstances. It is a fundamental necessity for me to understand their context issues and the impact thereof on each family. These might relate to relationship, legal, economic, social, trust, religious, cultural, family, psychological, amongst other issues.
Where children are part of the family system there are multiple changes involved when moving from a two-parent household to two single-parent households. These might include new accommodation and schools. It might also include new partners for parents and children from other relationships to form a new blended family. This is a nuanced and layered process that considers the needs of partners and their children. The unique arrangements are designed by the family members themselves in the safe space that I provide.
My mediation by design process follows a child centred approach. When the parental relationship status changes from being partners in a love relationship to co-parents loving the same children, children need to be heard, supported and included. There are various ways to hear the voice of the child as part of the mediation process.
Therapeutic mediation combines elements of traditional mediation with therapeutic techniques to address emotional and psychological aspects of conflict resolution. Unlike traditional mediation where the focus is primarily on reaching acceptable agreements, therapeutic mediation places greater emphasis on the emotional needs of the parties involved. The aim is to improve the quality of the ongoing relationship between parties.
I use this approach in family disputes and conflict where emotions are so highly charged that it inhibits effective communication and impacts negatively on the relationships.
I have experience in assisting clients who run a family business. Often the boundaries get blurred and business issues spill over into the family dynamics. This has the potential to ruin loving family relationships. The ripple effect in turn is that the business as well as the loving family relationships take strain.
As I am an accredited commercial and family mediator, the combination of these qualifications allows me to enter both systems and mediate outcomes that are beneficial to the business and the restoration of the family ties.
Therapy
Family therapy, also known as family counselling or family systems therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on improving communication, resolving conflict and therefore relationships within a family system. Rather than focusing on individual members, family therapy views the family as a dynamic system with its own patterns of interaction and communication.
In family therapy sessions, I work with the entire family to address the issues they bring. I facilitate discussions, sharing, encourage active listening, promoting understanding of their underlying dynamics and different perspectives to develop healthier ways of interacting.
Overall, family therapy offers a collaborative and safe approach to addressing family-related challenges, promoting healing and enhancing overall family functioning.
Transnational families refer to families whose members are spread across different countries or regions due to migration, work opportunities or other factors. These families often maintain strong emotional and social ties despite geographical distance with the assistance of social media and regular visits. They face exceptional challenges related to communication, parenting, maintaining family cohesion across borders and chronic loss.
I assist these families with online therapy to develop strategies to adapt, become resilient, dealing with loss and grief and finding new ways of expressing love and support. Creative strategies are developed.
Relationship therapy is often referred to as couple’s therapy or marriage counselling. I view this form of psychotherapy not limited to the aforementioned, but inclusive of any combination of two parties to a relationship. The therapy is focused on improving the quality of relationships between individuals. My work with the parties includes relationship diagnostics, interpersonal issues, conflict management and communication difficulties within a romantic partnership or other significant relationships.
The goal of relationship therapy is to foster understanding, empathy and effective communication, ultimately strengthening the bond between two individuals and promoting healthier, more fulfilling relationships. To achieve this, couples need to be committed to the process, be willing to become more self-aware and emotionally vulnerable to their partner, work towards mutual serenity and be willing to own their contribution to the state of the relationship.
I developed this couple counselling model over many years of working with couples, reading, studying and gaining insight from the needs expressed by couples. I learnt that couples need a safe space to talk about their issues and through this process identify the strengths and weaknesses of their unique relationship.
This approach addresses these needs in a practical and structured way. It provides couples with a new platform from which they can start communicating differently. These conversations are difficult, therefore I provide a safe and confidential space and guide the process. It is important to emphasise that the outcome depends on the couples.
The Relationship Journey, supported by the Workbook, is an excellent tool for people who want to improve their relationship and for couples before they enter into a committed relationship like marriage.
In individual work I follow a hybrid therapeutic approach to assist clients with the need they bring; being a specific traumatic life event, life stage issues, past experiences influencing current functioning, personal growth, making sense of where they are and finding their own strengths and coping strategies.
Together we explore their thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences in a safe and confidential environment. The aim being to address concerns, improve coping strategies, foster self awareness and facilitate personal growth and enjoyment of life.
In today’s high-pressured lifestyle where burnout is a common occurrence, coaching is helpful in creating order, setting goals and boundaries, facilitating self discovery, fostering accountability, and empowering clients to maximise their potential to achieve their desired outcome.
I consult from Tyger Valley Clinic or Stellenbosch or online.
I am an accredited family and commercial mediator.
I am a registered and certified therapist.
Navigating Separation:
Supportive Solutions
Clients learn how to manage conflict through understanding their own style of dealing with conflict, reflecting on the issues that are in dispute, how they show up during conflict, their needs in the conflict situation, triggers that cause conflict, strategies and skills to communicate and behave effectively during conflict. If committed to change, value will be added to personal and business relationships.
This is an information session to hear the needs and expectations of individuals, couples and families. Information is provided about mediation and therapeutic processes. An opportunity is given to ask questions pertaining to their specific circumstances. Through this process the suitability of mediation, or any of the other services offered, will be assessed for their unique needs.
Disappointment, anger, a broken heart, scarce resources, high emotions and conflict inhibit parties’ ability and capacity to negotiate effectively during the troubled time of a family or relationship breakup.
In this process I assist individuals to understand their and the other party’s real needs and how to best communicate this. The individual will learn how to negotiate the best outcome for themself and the ecosystem.
Communication during divorce or separation is crucial for navigating the process smoothly. This is a traumatic time for all parties involved which complicates healthy communication and conflict management.
I assist individuals, couples and families to improve communication skills, give guidance as to how best deal with the complex emotions and challenging changes that are taking place. This process assists parties to move forward.
Working with an ecosystemic framework considers the interconnectedness of individuals within a family system and the broader ecological context in which they operate. This methodology acknowledges the influence of various factors that are functioning in the unique family system and has an impact on the relationships and conflicts during and post separation.
It is important to understand the parenting style of each parent and their separate and collective relationships with their children where a family unit is divided into two family units to assist them best to co-parent the minor children. The role that each parent plays in the children’s lives has to be maintained. Children’s voices must be heard to give guidance as to what they need from their parents to help them thrive during this difficult time.
Blended families are formed when two individuals with children from previous relationships come together to create a new household. This presents its own distinctive challenges and opportunities. These families are helped to embrace diversity of experiences, backgrounds and perspectives within the blended family and the members of the families that they were previously part of. Most importantly the parents are guided to best support the minor children that face significant changes and adjustments.
Mediation explained
People are faced with conflict situations daily. It presents itself in their personal lives, in the workplace and in many other areas. Since conflict is such a common occurrence, one would assume that people have the skills to deal with it effectively. Unfortunately, when caught up in the conflict most people struggle. They often need assistance to understand the root causes of the conflict and decide on the appropriate actions to resolve it.
Mediation is a process in which parties are helped by a neutral third party to explore possibilities of resolving issues between themselves by mutual agreement without adjudication. Family mediation is not exclusive to divorce. Many issues are suitable for mediation. It is a voluntary process in which a couple, the whole family or any members thereof can participate. Mediation seeks to keep relationships intact and heal them while assisting the family in negotiating towards their own unique outcome that would address their specific issue(s) best. Disputes include whatever presents as a difficulty within a family for which they need assistance from a mediator.
Mediation is applied when divorce or separation is the outcome that a couple has determined for their relationship. Mediation is the less acrimonious and most cost-effective method of coming to agreements on care and contact arrangements for children (parenting plan), financial and maintenance matters. Mediation is the remedial alternative to lengthy and expensive legal processes that often have a devastating impact on relationships. Successful co-parenting is based on the quality of communication between the divorced parties.